This.Is.Old.Trafford

Ashley Cole's Secret

2007-10-12T12:57:00.000+08:00

For those who dont get the phone up the arse references in the song, its been rumoured that Ashley, Jenas and Sol Campbell used to have parties where they allegedly stuck mobile phones up each others shiteholes and then rang each other with the phones set on vibrate.

The Best Way to Hit Out At A Linesman

2007-10-12T12:29:00.000+08:00

After a dodgy offside decision which didnt go in your favour.

... jab him in the crotch and walk away.

Thats what Joel Griffiths who plays for Newcastle Jets in Australia's A League did anyway and the best part is he got away with a yellow card, even after after the referee conferred with the assaulted linesman. Having said that it obviously didnt warrant a red card, cause he did afterall get to the ball first. Lol.

Rafe Benitez's Rotation Policy

2007-10-12T12:21:00.000+08:00

How can Fernando Torres be dropped for a Premier League game and then play in a virtually meaningless Carling Cup game?

When does John Arne Riise play in defence and when in midfield?

What is the point of Jermaine Pennant?

All is revealed in a secret equation discovered by Eurosport's inside hobo, who found a scrap of paper while rooting through the Anfield bins for cast-off Rolexes and Armani shirts.

The formula is based on the Schrodinger Equation in quantum physics - read on for an explanation of what it all means.

Si - (K+6) x Et(-G) = PiR²/12.45 + (Vp-J) B/A³

Si = Ability to speak Spanish

K = Kiss-and-tell expose in tabloids

6 = Player over six feet in height

E = Good engine

t = Solid performance in training

-G = Inverse of goals scored in last game

Pi = Carrying excess weight

R = Unprovoked rant at Premier League officials

12.45 = Saturday lunchtime kick-off

Vp = Confluence of Venus and Pluto in Capricorn

5I = Karaoke/Golf club incident

B = Goatee beard

A = Player is Alvaro Arbeloa

Nicked Off Yahoo Sport

The United-Liverpool Rivalry Explained

2007-10-12T11:17:00.000+08:00

I've had a couple of mates, both united fans and non united fans alike asking me why i loathe scousers as much as i do, so here's a list i've compiled which really should explain exactly why i bash scousers as much as i do on this site. For the United faithful who do not share my hatred for the scouse bastards, perhaps u'll change ur minds after reading this post.

Remember ALL of Anfield singing Munich songs.
Remember the fucking Kop and their aeroplane gestures.
Remember the Munich 58 banner on the Kop
Remember Maine Road 85 and what was at stake.
Remember that we stopped them doing the "Impossible" Treble
Remember ALL those flags mocking Munich at Heysel in 85 .
Remember 39 dead Italians and how they tried to blame everyone but their fuckin selfs

Remember the bastards throwing CS Gas at our players at Anfield.
Remember that utter bitter cunt Kenny Dalglish
Remember Anfield 1992 and how you felt after Rush scored
Remember the 3-3 draw in 1994 and how it felt like a defeat
Remember the cunt spitting on Eric the King as he went to lift The FA Cup
Remember the cunt, Robbie Fowler and his four finger salute every time he scored against us
Remember that giant FC Bayern München flag at Anfield in 1999
Remember Paul Ince (and all of Anfield) thinking he had denied us the Title
Remember losing Five on the trot against them from 2000-2002, both home and away.
Remember The BBC hailing their plastic treble as some sort of achievement
Remember them breaking the silence in honour of Georgie Best
Remember scousers complaining that Sir Matt Busby only got knighted because he survived the disaster
Remember Alan Smiths ambulance getting blocked by scousers.
Remember how you felt on 25 May 2005

Just putting that post together's made my blood boil. What i sure could use right now is some scouse bashing in the form of anti scouse picts.

Thats made me feel so much better.

Ever Wondered Why A Clean Shaven Pussy's Called a Brazilian?

2007-10-12T10:56:00.000+08:00

Here's not one, but two reasons why. For those who missed out on Dida's dive during Milan's loss to Celtic, now better known as the worst bit of play acting and simulation thats ever graced any football pitch the world, here's a reminder. Least the cunt's got a 2 match ban for his efforts.

Doesnt it just bring back memories of another brazlian cunt, Rivaldo doing pretty much the same against the Turks in the 2002 world cup in japan, albeit with a tad more class(least he fell over instantaneously) when compared to Dida's?

So there u have it, I now understand why a delicately shaved pussy is called a Brazilian.

Chin Up Moaninho

2007-05-14T19:40:00.000+08:00

Fuckin class. Happened during the Chelski game where the cunts failed to beat our youngsters. Aside from watching Obi Mikel applaud our boys out onto the pitch at the Bridge, this certainly made my morning. Here's a couple of other vids where the whingin cunt gets owned.

Sing it with me now.

Moaninho on the WWE

Chelski Parody

City 0:1 United

2007-05-12T13:41:00.000+08:00

Inside the council house, we won the football league again... inside the council house...inside the council house...

Sing it with me now.

Chelski 0:0 United

2007-05-11T12:46:00.000+08:00

We All Hate Leeds Scum

2007-05-01T19:42:00.000+08:00

The scum have fallen yet again. Off they go down to the third division. What do the championship and cordless electronic devices have in common? No fuckin leeds! Heh. Here's a couple of vids to further compel Leed's misery.

Now listen to the United fans dish it out.

"Wise, Wise, wherever you may be
You've taken Leeds to Division Three,
You'll never win a cup, and you'll never win a shield,
And your biggest game is Huddersfield."

Congratulations, Keano!

2007-05-01T19:26:00.000+08:00

I couldnt possibly be any happier for the man, proving his critics wrong time and again. Fuckin legend! Keano in the premiership, i cant hardly wait to see him getting in Mourinho's face. I suppose the countdowns begun then to the day Keano takes fergies place at United. Also, congratulations go out to Brucey from bringing his birmingham side back up once again. Well done.

Oh Keano's f*ckin' magic,
He wears a magic hat,
And when he saw Old Trafford,
He said I fancy that,
He didn't sign for Arsenal,
Or Blackburn 'coz they're sh*te,
He signed for Man United,
'Coz they're f*cking dynamite.

There's only one Keano!

British Sign Language

2007-05-01T19:15:00.000+08:00

A handy tutorial on how to insult, flirt, swear and make sexual references in British sign language.

United 4:2 Everton

2007-05-01T18:28:00.000+08:00

Once a Blue, Always a Red.

What a cracking game that was. 2-0 down away from home looking all but dead and burried, we fuckin claw our way back into the game and eventually run out comfortable winners. One of our best ever comebacks, tho i'd still rank it 2nd to the 5-3 comeback win at white heart lane years ago. You gotta love Rooney for showing us exactly where his allegience lies, time and again after playin em scousers. Loved how he kissed the United badge right in front of them cunts. Oh and whats there to say bout dear ol' Philip Neville. I think he pretty much let his football do all the talking. Any chance of us appealing for an extra premiership medal for Philip for his contributions to our season? Lol.

Phillip Neville is a red,

is a red, is a red,

Phillip Neville is a red,

he hates scousers!

And here's the rest of the picts from the game.

Lets now spend a good few minutes laughing at the fuckin rent boys and their soddin fans. I really do wonder how many of em would be supporting different clubs come next season. Twats.

Oh and you gotta fuckin love Big Sam, putting off his retirement to after nicking a couple of points of the rent boys. Its not the first time he's actually helped us in our title chase, i vaguely remember his Bolton team getting something outta of their game against the arse back in 2003.

One For The Ladies

2007-04-26T19:39:00.000+08:00

So i've finally decided to give in to popular demand. Female readers....rejoice.

United 3:2 AC Milan - Highlights, Interviews & Analysis

2007-04-26T19:34:00.000+08:00

Goals

Post Match Interviews & Analysis

Compilation

United 3:2 AC Milan - The Pictures

2007-04-26T13:42:00.000+08:00

What a night. What a game of football. Man of the match honours have got to be split between Rooney and Fletch. Rooney for 2 superbly taken goals, with the second coming right at the death keeping our European dreams alive. Fletch was absolutely immense especially in the 2nd half. What a season he's having aiye? First Gerrad, then Makalele, then De Rossi and now Gattuso. They all got Fletch-ed alrite.

Jessica Simpson Almost Almost Slips a Nip

2007-04-25T21:59:00.000+08:00

Well, someone's being a major cocktease. This has gotta go down in history as the closest we've ever come to not getting a celebrity nip slip. Here's the vid if anyone's interested.

Im baffled. How could the nipple just not pop up?

T.I.O.T's Top 10 Hottest Babes of Superhero Movies

2007-04-25T16:32:00.000+08:00

Kelly Hu as Lady Deathstrike (X Men)

Rebecca Romjin Stamos as Mystique (X Men)

Jessica Alba as Sue Storm (Fantastic Four)

Alicia Silverstone as Batgirl (Batman & Robin)

Halle Berry as Catwoman (Catwoman)

Famke Janssen as Jean Grey (X Men)

Eva Mendez as Roxanne Simpson (Ghostrider)

Jenifer Garner as Elektra (Daredevil)

Katie Holmes as Rachel Dawes (Batman Begins)

Peta Wilson as Mina Harker (The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen)

I ought to add that they're arranged in no particular order. Oh and in light of the upcoming Spidey flick, i figured i ought to add Kirsten Dunst to the mix even tho she didnt make my top 10.

Kirsten Dunst as Mary Jane (Spiderman)

P-Fed?

2007-04-25T16:23:00.000+08:00

Well, i certainly didnt see this one coming but hey i'm definitely gonna be rooting for em 2. Lol. They're gonna make some pretty daft babies, i'd imagine. A negative IQ on the cards, perhaps?

Shyamali Malakar's Tits Kept Sanjaya in Idol

2007-04-25T15:21:00.000+08:00

Its been a while since i've seen such buoyancy, refreshing indeed. So refreshing, that its almost hypnotic. Lol. For everyone who was as baffled and perplexed as me to Sanjaya's continued progress (which came to an end a week ago) on Idol, i suppose everyone just wanted them puppies to get more airtime, which makes all the sense in the world, then dont it? She also periodically released a couple of semi scandalous pictures on the net to add on to the appeal her buoyant tits brought about.

A pity, her tits couldnt carry sanjaya all the way. Nonetheless, you've gotta love such supportive sisters. On another note, will we ever get relatively booby chicks working at the hooters joint in S'pore? All i've ever seen are Filipino/Chinese imports who sport bootyless airstrip's.

Britney Spears - Getting The Skank On

2007-04-25T13:35:00.000+08:00

Well, ill be damned. Someone's definitely been secretly working out in rehab, sheddin all that excess baggage she's been carryin. Well its either that or she's got herself a massive lipo job. Either way, this new bod of hers sure does suit her skanky ways. I actually like the fact like she's dressin in theme.

Scarlett Johansson's Cleavage Host Saturday Night Live

2007-04-25T13:30:00.000+08:00

Lets face it, her cleavage is indeed a show of its own.

T.I.O.T's Guide to United Chants

2007-04-20T19:04:00.000+08:00

Watching the United fans slag off Pennant in the clip i posted just the other day made me realize how much i love my fellow Manucunians, the pride and passion in the chants coupled with the creativity behind the lyrics of the chants are just second to none. We're pretty much got a chant for every other occasion and if we're ever in an occasion with nothing to shout about, there's always the scouse, city and leeds bashing to revert to. So here's a bulk of the chants out there together with clips of em being sung in OT, Bishop's Blaize(the pub just down the street from OT) and at away games.

When the red's go marching in/The 12 days of cantona/Build a bonfire/Eric the King

Take me home(United Road)

We Hate Liverpool and Man City

George Best

Gary Neville is a Red/Busby Boys

United fans away at anfield

Michael Shields Got 10 More Years

Chelski's Succes is fuckin hollow

Scouse Bashing

We Paid For Their Home

This is how it feels to be City

Mourinho, Are You Listening?

Chelsea Rent Boys

There's Only One Ronaldo!

If i die on the Kippax Street/United are the team for me

Do The Steven Gerrard

Pride of all Europe

He goes by the name, Wayne Rooney

You are My Solskjaer

Ole Ole Ole

Ooo Ahh Cantona

It could be worst, you could be scouse

We won it 2 times

In Your Liverpool Slums

Hello Hello We Are the Busby Boys

She wore a scarlet ribbon

You only come to see United

We All Hate Leeds Scum

Fuckin class, aiye?

T.I.O.T's Celebrity Thong Slips

2007-04-19T22:30:00.000+08:00

Is it just me or are thong slips pushing nipple slips outta fashion?

Joss Stone

Nicole Kidman

Anna Kournikova

Halle Berry

Jodie Foster

J Lo

Kate Beckinsale

Fergie

Isla Fisher

Nicole Ritchie

Britney Spears

Cameron Diaz

Gilian Anderson

Jenifer Garner

Nelly Furtado

Naughty, Naughty...

2007-04-19T22:14:00.000+08:00

I honestly cant blame a single one of them. I'd have done the very same thing. Lol. Oh and how fyne does Halle Berry look in that pict? She sure has been working the cleavage these past couple of weeks.

Luckiest Guy Alive?

2007-04-19T22:01:00.000+08:00

Well, ill be damned. You definitely know lady luck's smiling upon you've got a view as fyne as that right before your eyes. Lucky bastard.

Zoo Mag's Sexiest Buns of 2007

2007-04-19T21:41:00.000+08:00

United Fans Vs Jermaine Pennant

2007-04-19T12:35:00.000+08:00

Taking the piss outta the cunt, Jermaine Pennant after O'Shea smashed home the winner against the scousers early last month. Fuckin class. Lol.

United 2:0 Sheffield

2007-04-19T12:11:00.000+08:00

2 clinical strikes, from Carrick and Rooney both 4 minutes into the start of each half made the difference in an otherwise drab, boring game, mainly due to Sheffield's lack of effort especially in the last 15 minutes of the game. Highlights of the game include Ronnie offering Morgan his jersey as well as Alan Smith pulling a 'bowyer' and having a swing at Fletch, albeit accidentally. Lol.

Incident 1.

For those who missed out, check out on the incident, check out the clip below

Incident 2.

Once again, for those who missed out, check out how the incident unfolded in the following clip.

Roll on Boro! Here's hoping for a 3-0 win, with a Ronnie hattrick from banging home 3 penalties. That'll shut em cunts up.

How to Stop Men From Drinking Beer

2007-04-19T12:08:00.000+08:00

Argel Fucks off to Benfica

2007-04-19T11:51:00.000+08:00

Argelico 'Argel' Fucks (born 4 September 1974 in Santa Rosa, Rio Grande do Sul) is a Brazilian professional footballer. Fucks plied his trade in his homeland as well as Japan, Portugal and Spain. He won the Rio Grande do Sul State league, the Brazilian cup, the Brazilian champions cup, the Conmebol Cup plus the Portuguese league, cup and Supercup. He also represented Brazil internationally at the Under-20 level winning both the South American Championship and the Youth World Cup.

In his years playing in Brazil, he earned a reputation of being a dirty player. Among other things, he was accused of wearing rings as a weapon to hurt his rivals, he had a role of about four sending-offs on ten games while playing for Santos, and a really rough game while marking Boca Juniors' Román Riquelme, playing for Palmeiras, at 2001 Libertadores Cup. In the game which Palmeiras lost on penalties, being eliminated from the tournament, and Riquelme giving three sequencial hummiliating dribbles on Argel, and was stopped with fouling.

Fucks' fame stems arguably from his peculiar (at least to English-speakers) sounding name which resembles forms of the English profanity "fuck". This has lead to a variety of double-entendre headlines including an infamous one from Eurosport.com entitled "Argel Fucks off to Benfica". This headline received press coverage itself with The Register calling it "snappy and eye-catching" and football humour site Laugh FC deeming it "one of the all time greats".

Just imagine if he had a brother and if Benfica wanted him as well, a Palmeiras spokesman could very well say they could'nt give two Fucks and get away with it. Lol.

The Worlds Richest Footballers/Managers

2007-04-19T11:47:00.000+08:00

France Football’ Rich List – Figures in Euros (Millions)

Players

1. Ronaldinho (BRA/Barcelona) - 24

2. David Beckham (ENG/Real Madrid) - 17

3. Thierry Henry (FRA/Arsenal) – 15.7

4. Michael Ballack (GER/Chelsea) – 15.3

5. Ronaldo (BRA/Milan) – 15.2

6. Andrei Shevchenko (UKR/Chelsea) – 12.7

7. Alessandro del Piero (ITA/Juventus) – 11.5

8. John Terry (ENG/Chelsea) – 11.4

9. Steven Gerrard (ENG/Liverpool) – 11.3

10. Fabio Cannavaro (ITA/Real Madrid) – 10.5

11. Frank Lampard (ENG/Chelsea) – 10.3

12. Didier Drogba (IC/Chelsea) – 9.5

13. Kaká (BRA/Milan) – 9.2

14. Francesco Totti (ITA/Roma) - 9

15. Wayne Rooney (ENG/Manchester United) – 8.9

16. Ruud van Nistelrooy (HOL/Real Madrid) – 8.8

17. Cristiano Ronaldo (POR/Manchester United) – 8.7

18. Rio Ferdinand (ENG/Manchester United) – 8.5

Iker Casillas (SPA/R. Madrid) – 8.5

20. Raúl González (SPA/Real Madrid) – 8.4

Managers

1. José Mourinho (POR/Chelsea) - 10

2. Alex Ferguson (SCO/Manchester United) – 6.1

3. Fabio Capello (ITA/Real Madrid) – 5.8

4. Sven-Goran Erikson (SWE/ex-England) – 5.2

5. Guus Hiddink (HOL/Rússia) - 5

6. Giovanni Trapattoni (ITA/Salzburg) – 4.6

7. Frank Rijkaard (HOL/Barcelona) – 4.5

8. Arsene Wenger (FRA/Arsenal) – 4.4

9. Roberto Mancini (ITA/Inter) – 3.4

10. Felix Magath (GER/ex-Bayern) – 2.8

Rafael Benítez (SPA/Liverpool) – 2.8

United's Season in Numbers

2007-04-19T11:38:00.000+08:00

0 - Goalless draws involving ManUtd.

1 - Games lost at Old Trafford. Against Arsenal in September, as if you need to ask.

2 - Average number of goals scored by ManYoo away from home in the Premiership. Chelsea's figure is 1.37.

3 - Players shortlisted for the PFA Player of the Year award.

4 - Goals scored by both John O'Shea and Nemanja Vidic.

5 - Games in which ManYoo have failed to score. One of those was against Southend in the Carling Cup.

6 - ManYoo goalscorers that came through the youth system at the club. Note; Gary Neville is one of the few players in the squad yet to score.

7 - Yellow cards picked up by both Vidic and Paul Scholes in the Premiership.

8 - Times ManYoo have scored four or more goals in all competitions.

9 - Goals conceded in the first halves of 33 Premiership matches.

10 - Players in top 50 of Actim Index ratings. Chelsea have only four.

11 - Premiership games played by Kieran Richardson. Six came as sub.

13 - Goals in ManYoo's last three games.

14 - Premiership points won from a losing position.

15 - Premiership goals set up by Ronaldo. Frank Lampard and Cesc Febregas are next on the Premiership list with 11.

16 - Premiership goals scored after the 75th minute.

17 - Goals scored at home in the Champions League. As opposed to three away from Old Trafford.

18 - Combined total of goals scored by Scholes and Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, whose careers were in doubt last summer.

18.6 - Million pounds spent by Sir Alex last summer, all on Michael Carrick.

19 - Man Utd players on the scoresheet.

20 - Goals scored by Wayne Rooney in what has been, at times, a disappointing season.

21 - Goals scored by Cristiano Ronaldo in what has been, at times, a remarkable season.

22 - Players used in the Premiership.

77 - Goals scored in 33 Premiership matches. That's 20 goals more than Arsenal and 21 more than Chelsea.

114 - Goals scored in all competitions.

400 - Pounds given to Ronaldo by Sir Alex when he hit the 15-goal mark.

Spiderman 3: A Sneak Peek

2007-04-16T11:20:00.000+08:00

Its the longest sneak peek to be released yet, 7.5 minutes in all. Here's hoping the movie's as awesome as this trailer is.

Ronnie Signs On!

2007-04-13T18:56:00.000+08:00

Manchester United winger Cristiano Ronaldo has agreed terms on a new five-year contract at Old Trafford. The deal will keep the in-form Portuguese international at the club until at least June 2012.

Ronaldo, 22, has been linked with Real Madrid and Barcelona since last summer's World Cup in Germany but has now committed his future to the Premiership leaders. United boss Sir Alex Ferguson said: 'It is fantastic news, it emphasises the point that Cristiano is happy here and that he is at the right club.

'He has a great relationship with the team, staff and the fans and he will go on to be one of Manchester United's great players.' Only this week there were further reports that the player's agent had held talks with Madrid.

But Ronaldo added: 'I am delighted. I spoke with Sir Alex and (chief executive) David Gill about my future and everyone knew that I wanted to stay. 'I am very happy at the club and I want to win trophies and hopefully we will do that this season.'

The week just keeps getting better and better, cant hardly wait for the week to end with us securing our place in the final of the FA cup. We're just gonna on from strength to strength now. Fuck yeah. Here's one for the madrid cunts who actually thought they had a snigger of hope in prising Ronnie away from Old Trafford.

Fuckin have that ye cunts!

Random Giffage

2007-04-12T21:38:00.000+08:00

United 7:1 Roma - More Pictures

2007-04-12T20:59:00.000+08:00

The Racist Sofa

2007-04-11T15:17:00.000+08:00

"When the new chocolate-coloured sofa set was delivered to her Brampton home, Doris Moore was stunned to see packing labels describing the shade as "Nigger-brown."

Read On.

Random Image of the Day

2007-04-11T15:15:00.000+08:00

No comment.

United 7:1 Roma

2007-04-11T14:38:00.000+08:00

Fuckin have that you italian cunts! Lyon a better side, are they? We fuckin showed you lot, didnt we.

This was what it was all about tonight.

Down to a supposedly superior team from the first leg, never ever having overturned a deficit in the champions league prior to the game.

2 defeats on the trot, including the recent one against Pompey which left us 'supposedly' demoralised which further resulted in reducing our lead to 3 points in turn leaving the league wide open.

This game coming right before the semi-final of the FA Cup.

Rooney supposedly crap in the CL, Ronaldo having never scored in it and never performing against the big teams. Scholes suspended, Vidic and Saha both injured.

The pressure unbelievable.

And we notch up our greatest European victory ever. Fuck yeah. It dont get any better. I dont think words could even describe how i felt this morning after i saw each and everyone of the 7 goals go in, one after another. This pict just sums it all up for me.

For those who missed out on the nights action, here's all 7 goals for ya. I doubt you'll ever see such destruction ever again in the quaterfinals of a major competition, not in this lifetime anyway. I fuckin envy those who got to party the night away on the streets of Manchester. One things for sure, my time will come.

Manchester United vs AS Roma Goals
Uploaded by FootballHeaven

Roll on Watford.

Borat Does Baywatch

2007-03-19T08:32:00.000+08:00

In a post Borat: The Movie special, entitled "SexyDrownWatch"

The UK's 50 Sexiest Tits

2007-03-18T14:51:00.000+08:00

Here's one for the British readers of T.I.O.T cause i personally havent got a clue who most of these chicks are but yeah the fact that Keeley Hazel only comes in in 6th place, well thats a shocker right there.

TIOT's Skank Week in Review

2007-03-18T13:13:00.000+08:00

I'll sum it all up in a single sentence. A week that started off with us almost losing 2 of our favourite skanks, Pairs and Nicole who contemplated suicide up on the 26th floor of some apartment ended with Tara's tits still sagging all the way down to her fuckin knees after her 4383854520th boob job, the Lohan still partying it up like a true skank, Paris setting her sights on turning Elisha Cuthbert and Fergie into skanks after Britney graduated Paris's skank school the moment she shaved her head bald and Britney bringing herself to new lows, so low, that its not even funny nor worth blogging no more.

I guess the question now on everyone's mind's probably, how long before Elisha and Fergie turn into this....?

TIOT's Week in Review

2007-03-18T12:08:00.000+08:00

With uni back in full swing and me in my 3rd year now, i've really got to work toward improving my grade point avaerage so which in turn duly means i aiant gonna have as much time to blog as before and henceforth daily updates are now well and truly out of the question less im so shyt bored that i've got absolutely fuck all to do. But rest assured, it's not the end of the world, or even the end of T.I.O.T, i'll just be blogging over the weekends and lo and behold, i give you weekly roundup's!

Its pretty much all bout the booty this week ya'll.

First up, we've got Linda Evangelista's (of Lost fame) 'bikini bottom' which lost out against some strong under currents which nearly pulled it all the way off.

The week also saw Vida Guerra take some time off to give us a gentle reminder as to how fyne her arse truly is. Ill say no more, ill let the pict do the talking.

Next up, we've got Anna Kournikova, a name which i honestly havent heard being mentioned in a good 2-3 years also made the news, well rather, her perky arse did, while she was off vactioning in Mexico.

We've also got Eva Mendez who'se tits looked absolutely sizzling in the recent flick, Ghost Rider. Yeah, all hail the inventor of the Wonder Bra. Well any fucking how, she did a topless shoot over the week and here are d picts.

And finally we've got Fergies bikini wedgied clad arse on show.

Oh and here's a bonus pict of a random college slut who'se flashing her thong clad arse at some frat party and well an arse like that definitely deserves a mention.

Thats that for the booty themed week in review.

Through The Eyes of An Anorexic Girl

2007-03-18T11:55:00.000+08:00

Anorexia and Bulimia are both classified as disorders, people suffering from them need help to get over it. It stems from a competitive, image-focused culture and preys on people who fall victim to the pressure. The person in the mirror can't see reality, as their reality and perception have been warped. It's delusion, yes, but not one that's easily overcome.

This public service message has been brought to you in light of widespread Bullimia and Anorexia thats hit our shores.

Mila Kunis Has Got Talent!

2007-03-09T07:23:00.000+08:00

Is it just me or is has she been working in the wrong section of the showbiz industry all this while? Talent like hers really shouldnt go to waste.

Angry Arsenal Fan Destroy's Season Ticket

2007-03-08T11:43:00.000+08:00

Lets all take this oppurtunity to laugh at the gooners, who were knocked out of the champions league early this morning!

Zeroes

2007-03-06T10:59:00.000+08:00

"They can not fly, or telleport, though that would be nice"

"Will others use bendy-ness for evil purposes"

Bets parody EVER!

The Heroes Character Map

2007-03-06T10:38:00.000+08:00

Here's one for the fans of the tv series, Heroes like myself!

Yellow Line : Person has a connection to Primatech paper Company
Blue Line : Already met
Red Line : Blood Relatives
White Line : Married / Living together
Grey Dotted Line : Person murdered by Sylar

The maps good till episode 17. Enlarged version of the map HERE.

Oz Bus

2007-03-06T10:26:00.000+08:00

Fancy visiting 20 countries on the trot, on board a bus? For just £3,750 you can take the 12-week journey that goes through countries including Australia, Indonesia, Malaysia, Loas, China, India, Nepal, Iran, Turkey, Bulgaria, Romania, Hungary, Ausria, Germany, France and England. The first trip leaves in September, with plans already in place for two more services, departing in January and May 2008. Check out the itenary HERE.

Scouse Bastards 0:1 United - The Celebrations

2007-03-05T22:17:00.000+08:00

Its our season. I'll say no more, for now.

The Lohan's Nip's Are Back in Fashion

2007-03-05T21:53:00.000+08:00

...but apparently bra's still arent.

Sinful Celebrity Comics

2007-03-05T21:46:00.000+08:00

I'm afraid thats all the picts ill be able to post in my quest to keep TIOT porn free so Google's Ad Sense wont be rejecting TIOT no more! Damn cunts. Any fuckin how, here's the link.

Britney Flashes Some Thong

2007-02-08T23:05:00.000+08:00

You can only wonder how stoned she is, for her to not realize someone holding on to her thong.

This May Get You Arrested!

2007-02-08T22:59:00.000+08:00

If you're sitting next to someone who irritates you on a plane or train follow these instructions:

1. Quietly and calmly open up your laptop case.

2. Remove your laptop.

3. Start up

4. Make sure the guy who is annoying you, can see the screen.

5. Close your eyes and tilt your head up to the sky.

7. Then hit this link

10 Things I'd Rather Do Than Support the Arse

2007-02-08T22:30:00.000+08:00

TIOT Brings You Up Shamita Shetty's Skirt

2007-02-08T22:22:00.000+08:00

Clearly, riding on big sis's big brother success wasnt getting her fame, she had to result to taking a leaf outta the now famouse skanka-lopedia. Is she en route to becoming Bollywood's very own lindsay lohan?

The Liverpool Stealers FC

2007-02-08T22:00:00.000+08:00

Jose (Pepé) Reina
Netminder with an impressive 19 shutouts this regular season. Save average
of .854 in last five outs. Replaces New Jerzy Dudek as first-choice
goaltender after veteran's series of high-profile handling errors.
Nicknamed after Pepé Le Pew, the cheese-eating surrender skunk.

James 'The Minister Of Defense' Carragher
Captain of defense and native 'Scouser'. 2963 minutes of field time with
powerplay change-up stats of 5-6-3. Awesome displays in penalty zone versus
aerial offense plays. Awesome displays at club Christmas parties.
Distribution ranked only 245th in EPL. Note: communication may be difficult
as James does not speak English.

Steve O'Finnan
Defensive cornerback/outside linebacker ranked six in division for forward
offense running plays. Highly-rated change-up, groundspeed. 245 defensive
tackle ratio. Proud Irishman: merchandising opportunities with millions of
east coast Americans who are 1/64 from Cork. Vital cornerman, new shorts.

Sam Hyypia
Veteran centerblocker famed for aerial rebound ability, composureability,
although lacks change-up, questions over groundplay v forwards with
nimbleness quotient. Radical air with headbombs from special plays ensures
a conversions per season tally average of six. Hails from Finlandland, a
country in Europe that is part of the 'Axis Of Pleasantness'.

John-Arnold Riise
Cornerman who regularly features in goalshot of the month sweeps with a
left peg rated in top five nationwide for sweetness. Rookie, sophomore
seasons raised expectations of possible Hall of Famer status but recent
semesters have seen the person of redly-challenged hair demoted to bullpen
on occasion. 7-6-8.

Gerrard Steven
Team MVP, captain and midfielderman famed for power running, pass accuracy,
assists. Has dressed as center, right wingerbacker (offensive and
defensive) and even as secondary power forward. Can rush goal or sit back
in the pocket. Career high came in Pro-Ball showdown against the Milan
Tumblers in Istanbul (believed site of WMD).

Craig Bellamy
Controversial wide receiver/goal forward rated division's third most likely
player to face red card takedown in grudge slams. Lightning fast in joggy
work down winglines, although critics question net targeting infield. Has
switched franchises several times in career amid rumors of all-star level
jackassery.

Robert Bernard Fowler
Veteran strike attacker and all-time Liverpool Reds Hall of Famer. Once
considered league MVP for shotzone rebounds and accuracy in the paint.
Famously flagged on field for displaying his tight end to opponent Graeme
Le Saux, and for calling into question The War On Drugs.

Xabi Alonso (ITA)
6-5-7, 12, 468, 0.43, 0, 0, 0, 1, 0, 98632548, 1, 1, 0 (?), 0, 1. 0.3.

Jermaine Pennant
Wide receiver/running forward has rushed for over 1,000 yards in Liverpool
Reds rookie season. Crossfields delivery success rate well into
point-seven-ohs, play action, sprinty, jigglebomb, DUI. 6.662. Off-field
activities saw him given bum's rush from Steve Bruskowski's Birmingham
Brums. Only soccerplayer on roster with a sensible sportsman's name.

Peter Crouch Jr
Power forward who could have potential if consortium moves into NBA. Noted
for headbomb assists, ganglyhole, salmon leap, robotics. 0.673, runners
batted in, three points. Traded several times early in career but has
flourished under head coach Benitez at the Anfield Taco Bellodrome.

It had to be done. For all you scouse bastards who laughed when the Glazers took control of united. Here's a question for you lot, what's worst than being owned by a yank?

...being owned by 2 yanks!

who clearly dont know shyt bout football...

What goes around, comes around bitches!

Serena Williams Big Arsed Tits & Bootay

2007-02-02T11:13:00.000+08:00

"If I lost 20 pounds, I'm still going to have these knockers, forgive me, and I'm still going to have this ass. It's just the way I am," she said after the final.

Here's an upskirt shot to add to the mix.

Jessica Simpsons Breasts Are A Disability

2007-01-25T23:15:00.000+08:00

Jessica Simpson's life is full of problems, and one, or rather two of the biggest problems used to be Jessica Simpson's breasts. According to PR Inside, the busty singer says that her breasts kept her from becoming a gospel singer when she was younger because they made her look too sexy.

The 26-year-old was asked not to sing solos in church, because men found her feminine assets too distracting. However, having found fame and success as both a pop singer and an actress career, Simpson now "wears" her breasts proudly.

She says, "I always felt they disabled me from what I wanted to do. Now, I own them. They're like wearing a great necklace. You can't pay for that sort of accessory - though I know people do. But they never look as good at the real ones."

Okay, first of all, what kind of Gospel singer is wearing low-cut boob revealing tops in Church? Dont they all wear long robes, and were covered from head to toe?

Secondly, if anything is disabling Jessica Simpson, it's not her breasts. In fact, they're probably the main reason she has a career at all, because unlike the Church, thankfully, the rest of the world has much lower standards of decency. And we don't mind seeing Jessica Simpson's breasts at all. In fact i might just feature her tits in a mega post just like i did with Salma Hayek's.

Paris Hilton Exposed

2007-01-25T22:22:00.000+08:00

Here's the Story:

"As she was moving from one LA mansion to another, Paris Hilton, heiress to the Hilton dynasty, filled a 6,000 square foot storage facility with her personal belongings.
And then -- believe it or not -- this heiress failed to pay her bill of $208.00. After repeated attempts to contact her failed, the storage unit was auctioned off... the heiress lost all the rights to her goods." It's now all at parisexposed.com but dont fret i've got everything you need right here.

1. Trailer:

1:05 2.30 MB wmv

http://rapidshare.com/files/13203464/ParisExpTr.wmv

2. Paris in Bed 1:

4:46 15.2 MB mov

http://rapidshare.com/files/13246731/P4r1sBd01.rar

3. Paris in Bed 2:

3:02 9.52 MB mov

http://rapidshare.com/files/13246902/P4r1sBd02.rar

4. Paris in the tub 1:

4:19 13.0 MB mov

http://rapidshare.com/files/13269249/PAr1sT0b1.rar

5. Paris in the tub 2:

4:04 13.3 MB mov

http://rapidshare.com/files/13269450/PAr1sT0b2.rar

6. Paris in the tub 3:

4:51 15.5 MB mov

http://rapidshare.com/files/13269667/PAr1sT0b3.rar

7. Paris Topless

1:48 5.56 MB mov

http://rapidshare.com/files/13260727/PAr1sTpls01.rar

8. Paris being Friendly

5:15 16.4 MB mov

http://rapidshare.com/files/13267555/pAR1sbudie01.rar

9. Paris at Computer

3:00 9.48 MB mov

http://rapidshare.com/files/13282359/PAr1sc0mp01.rar

If you fancy all of em vids, dont fret cause once again, TIOT's got you hooked up.

ALL IN ONE!! vids 1-8 90 MB:

http://rapidshare.com/files/13269103/p4r1sAi0ful.rar

There she goes again, skanking it up in the new year. There's really no stopping her skanky ways is there. The challenges came in the form of the Lohan and Tara but they proved to be mere pretenders to the throne as proven once again by the queen skank herself, Paris. Thats not it tho, she's even managed to slip a nip while getting out of her ride, flashed an upskirt and get caught with her pants down all in the space of the first 18 days of the year.

We shall reconvene for the next episode of skank wars in due time.

10 Types of Women You Need To Avoid

2007-01-25T13:33:00.000+08:00

The woman who is obsessed with getting married

The woman who is always looking for a fight.

The woman who needs to be handled with kids gloves.

The woman who really needs to cover up.

The woman who is a contstant drag

The woman who really needs to shut up

The woman who takes and takes and takes.

The woman who has nothing to say.

The woman who is one big freakshow.

The woman who is all out evil

Read all about the above mentioned women and why you should avoid them HERE.

The 50 Sexiest Celebrity Nipple Slips of All TIme

2007-01-25T10:50:00.000+08:00

Courtesy of the Zoo Mag ya'll.

Keeley Hazell Does Baywatch!!

2007-01-25T10:32:00.000+08:00

Keeley Hazell, is being tapped to appear in the upcoming Baywatch film. Yes, they are turning that show into a movie. Keeley is in talks to play a life-saving beauty in Baywatch: The Movie. Keeley, 20, has been scouted by Hollywood film producers planning to bring the world’s most watched telly programme to the big screen. “The first I knew about the Baywatch film was when someone said my name was mentioned on a Hollywood database as a potential candidate to take part. “Next I was invited to meet the producers. Everything seemed positive and they have asked to meet me again later this month.”

Lets keep our fingers grossed and hope we'd be blessed with such scenes on the big screen in due time.

Saddam's Execution

2007-01-06T17:40:00.000+08:00

Download the clip HERE.

Tyra Banks is Fatter than Fat!

2007-01-06T16:24:00.000+08:00

Talk about thunder thighs. Dont think she'll be having much to say to em contestants in ANTM looking like that.

A TIOT Update: Tits, Pokies And Nipple Slips

2007-01-06T14:46:00.000+08:00

The Olsen Sisters

Ashlee Simpson

Shannon Doherty

Jenifer Lopez
Jessica Alba

Britney Spears

Victoria Beckham

TIOT's Guide To Hangovers

2007-01-06T14:13:00.000+08:00

Fresh off the back of the festive season with both xmas and new years celebrations and tons of parties/wedding receptions and etc, i'm sure the majority of us woke up with bad hangovers more than once. Till today, there is no single cure for them, you may be able to help reduce the effects of one. Albeit late, here are some links to prevention tips as well as links to how hangovers work, and how they come about.

How Hangovers Work
Hangover 101: How to Deal With the Morning After
Head off that hangover: Tips for drinking wisely
Curing a hangover - part 1
Curing a hangover - part 2
Dr. I. M. Bibe's Anti-Hangover Tips
Hangover Helpers
How To Prevent A Hangover with Vitamins
Alcohol and Hangover Myths Revealed

13 Photographs That Changed The World

2007-01-06T14:03:00.000+08:00

Check out the other 12 HERE.

40DD Cupped Mannequins

2007-01-06T13:30:00.000+08:00

Mannequins' breasts are growing to cater for the number of women who now have plastic surgery (or men's increased fondness for gigantic boobs). Shop mannequins with 40" DD breasts have been selling thick and fast across America in the last year and are could soon be protruding onto on the British High Street. The realistic-looking mannequins with unrealistic-looking breasts sell for between £66 for the cheapest models to around £150, and can have realistic silicone nipples added.

No, TIOT's Not Dead!

2006-12-27T23:48:00.000+08:00

...Not yet anyway. Im off to Vietnam to usher in the new year with the family and upon my return on the 3rd, normal service shall resume. You can be assured of it. For now, just hang in there..

And Im Off Once Again...

2006-12-19T00:01:00.000+08:00

To the nations capital, Kuala Lumpur and to the nation's premier entertainment city, Genting.

Blogging shall resume on the 23rd of Decemeber less i find myself in an internet cafe in the coming days in Genting/KL which is highly unlikely. Till then, hang in there folks.

T.I.O.T Conquers Gunung Ledang

2006-12-18T13:30:00.000+08:00

Dong Gets His Permit, Finally.

2006-12-17T18:51:00.000+08:00

China international Dong Fangzhou will get the chance to live his Manchester United dream after the Red Devils finally secured a work permit for the young striker. Dong has been limited to sporadic appearances on a couple of pre-season tours as United attempted to get over the red tape which prevented him from playing in England.

However, after spending three years on loan at Belgian feeder club Royal Antwerp, during which time he has won seven caps for his national side, Dong has now been cleared to link up with United on a permanent basis. The 21-year-old, signed from Dalian Shide for £3.5m (€5.1m) – a record for Chinese football – will head to England on January 1.

Dong will be one of seven loan players due to return to Old Trafford as Sir Alex Ferguson attempts to bolster his squad ahead of a prolonged title push, with the United boss due to welcome new arrival Henrik Larsson into the camp tomorrow ahead of a week’s training before the Swedish star begins his 10-week stint at the club next month.

Fergie Hints At Further Surprises

2006-12-17T17:43:00.000+08:00

The Manchester United manager worked his magic in the transfer market to bring the Swedish striker to Old Trafford on a loan deal that begins in January, and it has been suggested that Larsson represents the limit of his New Year acquisitions.

However Ferguson has now suggested he may yet have another ace up his sleeve as The Red Devils look to consolidate their place at the top of the Premiership. "You never know, I may sign someone else," said Ferguson. "No-one expected Henrik Larsson and I might surprise everyone again."

United's usurpation of rivals Chelsea has seen Ferguson in his element, with the mind games coming thick and fast from both Old Trafford and Stamford Bridge. Now the master of managerial psychology has gone on the offensive again after Jose Mourinho suggested United's five-point lead is, in reality, just two as The Red Devils have to visit Stamford Bridge on 14th April.

"Apparently we have already lost a game which was due to be played in April," laughed Ferguson "It's quite good really because we can have a rest on that weekend now. I can put my reserve team out, so we can save our energies for the next game. "You never know. We could actually win, or we might be 20 points clear. I think the best thing for us to do is concentrate on ourselves because we are doing the right things."

All hail Sir Alex! Em Chelskian cunts have started a war they're never gonna win.

WTF Happened To Beyonce's Tits?

2006-12-14T12:40:00.000+08:00

I never knew Beyonce had her tits done, but this sure looks like the right half of her right boob has ruptured or is deflated. Either way, its friggin gross!

Sister Act 3: Incestuous Lezzers

2006-12-14T11:57:00.000+08:00

Starring none other than the skankiest sisters alive today, Paris and Nikki Hilton.

Somebody throw them a double dildo.

A Lingerie Clad Scarlett Johansson

2006-12-14T11:33:00.000+08:00

How fuckin fyne is this set of picts and its not even a photoshoot or anything of the sort where em chics get airbrushed like crazy.

American Pie: The Naked Mile

2006-12-14T11:24:00.000+08:00

Sure looks like my kinda movie. My only hope is it doesnt suck as much as band camp did.

United Goal Updates

2006-12-14T11:04:00.000+08:00

United 3:1 Benfica

Vidic(1-1)

Giggs (2-1)

Saha (3-1)

United 3:1 City

Rooney (1-0)

Saha (2-0)

Ronaldo (3-1)

8 points clear in the premiership and through to the last 16 of the champions league as group winners, i couldnt have hoped for a better week. Glory Glory Man Utd.

And We're Back...

2006-12-14T10:31:00.000+08:00

Just bear with me folks, this months just so packed out like a can of sardines, i've hardly even got time for myself let along to mantain this blog, but imma do my best,thats for sure. For the past 5 days, i was part of organizing team of a sikh youth camp, bahadur bachey 2006 which you could read about HERE if you're interested.

Come this friday i'll be leaving for a hike up Gunung Ledang, the highest peak in the southern region of Malaysia standing at 1267 metres above sea level and will only be due back late on sunday and then i'll be leaving for port dickson and genting highlands late monday and will only be due back on the 23rd.

If thats not enough, i'll be jetting off to vietnam to usher in the new year on the 27th and will only be back on the 2nd of janaury so yeah, thats my schedule for till the new year, its tighter than a 14 year old virgin's cunt! What i could really use right now is someone who shares the same interest as me in terms of the stuff that i blog about who'se equally witty or if not better and who'd be willing to try his hand at bloggin to help me keep this blog alive for this month at least. Any takers?

Amazing Talent

2006-12-12T15:05:00.000+08:00

How do you put thatsuch talent down on your resume?

Rossi's Coming Home: Its Official

2006-12-03T21:31:00.000+08:00

Giuseppe Rossi will return to Manchester United in January, with Sir Alex Ferguson unhappy with the number of games the striker has played at Newcastle United. Ferguson loaned the youngster to The Magpies in the expectation he would accrue valuable Premiership experience.

But Rossi has started just two league games, and appeared as a substitute four times, much to Ferguson's frustration. With United short of attacking options at present, Ferguson suggested Rossi would have been better served staying at Old Trafford.

"Giuseppe will come back to us because he is just not getting enough football at Newcastle," said Ferguson. "The understanding we had with them was that he would play more games. "Every manager is subject to their own opinions on players, so I don't want to say too much about that.

"But we could have done with him here, so he might as well come back to us." Ferguson has already agreed a deal to bring Henrik Larsson to the club in the New Year, but is still mulling over another bid for Bayern Munich midfielder Owen Hargreaves.

He added: "I don't know what the situation is. "I have read some things about his injury, but you never usually get the full story that way. "Besides, I don't want to upset those poor Germans. They are very fragile."

Fergie's definitely back at his very best with regard to his comments to the media. This one's gotta be right up there among his snidiest comments ever. Fuckin brilliant. Just a month to go till the transfer window opens again. I cant seem to decide if we still need Hargreaves services with Fletcher coming into form now and Carrick settling in nicely and Scholesly being his usual self.

Britney Flashes Her Cunt For The 1258483th Time!

2006-12-02T13:43:00.000+08:00

And for the first time, Mistress Paris is nowhere to be seen. Hmmm. Wonder whats up with that, perhaps Britney's graduated from slut school and now doesnt require any babysitting? Anyhow, i feel Britney's cunt sure as hell deserves a place in the Guiness book of world records for being flashed the most number of times in a week.

Slut Ed 301

2006-12-02T12:04:00.000+08:00

Thats right, Rihanna's at it once again.

If you missed out on the other installments of the Slut Ed Series,

Check out Rihanna's Slut Ed 101 HERE
Check out Rihanna's Slut Ed 101 Remedial HERE

Check out Rihanna's Slut Ed 201 HERE

United 3:0 Everton - In Pictures

2006-12-02T11:07:00.000+08:00

Turned out to be more like a cup game than a premiership fixture. Well done to the rest of the squad, ie the likes of Richardson, O'Shea, Silvestre whom i slag off pretty often. Richardson's the worst of the lot, think he's already made it to the big time with a couple of england caps but he's in need of a reality check. Think's he's a star when he's just incosistent as fuck. Its good to see O'shea and Silvestre performing well, coming into the first team after a while out and nicking us a result. We're gonna need a whole lot more of such performances from our squad players as the season wears on, if we're gonna remain on top. Roll on Boro!

Larsson Joins United On Loan

2006-12-02T10:43:00.000+08:00

The shock arrival of Henrik Larsson will mark the end of Manchester United's extensive striker search until next summer. With his attacking options currently depleted, Sir Alex Ferguson has pulled off a major coup in securing Larsson on a three-month loan from Helsingborg. The 35-year-old Celtic legend will fly into England at the beginning of January and remain with the Old Trafford outfit until March 12 before returning to his native Sweden for the start of their domestic campaign.

Larsson will provide valuable back-up to first-choice strikers Louis Saha and Wayne Rooney at a time when United hope to be mounting a serious challenge for honours both at home and abroad. And, while Ferguson continues to be linked with big-money moves for Fernando Torres and Darren Bent, the Scot is convinced now Larsson's arrival is certain, he will not need to look for any more forwards when the transfer window opens next month. "No, we won't be going for any other strikers," confirmed the United boss.

"We have exhausted all avenues and this, without doubt, is the best option." The imminent return of Ole Gunnar Solskjaer from a hamstring strain should see United through to the new year, when Giuseppe Rossi seems certain to be recalled from his loan spell at Newcastle, offering Ferguson even more alternatives for the start of the Red Devils' FA Cup campaign.

However, the arrival of Larsson has certainly captured the imagination of the United faithful.
Recently voted the best Swedish player of the past 50 years, Larsson scored an incredible 242 goals in 315 appearances during seven highly-successful years at Parkhead before leaving for Barcelona, where he won the Champions League in May.

Ferguson credits Larsson's arrival off the bench when his team were losing to Arsenal as the major factor behind the Catalans' eventual triumph and admitted he tried to sign the player while he was still in Scotland. "We made a move for him while he was still at Celtic but they managed to persuade him to stay," revealed Ferguson.

"I always knew he wanted to try Barcelona but we didn't go for him when he was leaving there in the summer because we were under the impression he wanted to go back to Sweden, which he did." However, with it becoming increasingly obvious United could not hope to maintain a successful title quest with the striker currently available, Ferguson told chief scout Jim Lawlor to pursue a hunch over Larsson with Helsingborg coach, and fellow Scot, Stuart Baxter.

Although Larsson has extensive business interests in his homeland, he was willing to take up the challenge of appearing in the Premiership for the first time in his career. His first United appearance is likely to be in an FA Cup third-round tie, with a possible Premiership debut against Aston Villa, whose manager Martin O'Neill used to be his boss at Celtic, a week later.

Unless his loan period is extended, something Ferguson doubts will happen, Larsson will be available for a maximum of 13 games, including the first Champions League knock-out round and testing trips to Arsenal and Liverpool. "The length of the contract is perfect," said Larsson.

"I probably won't play every match from the start, but for me it feels like a very fun thing to contribute at such a late stage in my career. "I have no idea how Sir Alex wants to use me. I will be back-up at the beginning, then we will see what I can contribute and where things are going." Larsson will link up with his new team-mates ahead of the trip to West Ham on December 17, then train at Carrington for a week before heading back to Sweden for Christmas, then returning to England a week later.

However, Ferguson has been keen to stress Larsson's arrival does not mark the end of Alan Smith's stay at Old Trafford, even though the £6million former Leeds front-man has not even been seen on the bench since being substituted in the Carling Cup defeat to Southend. "Alan's future with the club is good," declared Ferguson.

"The problem was we misread the situation when he came back from his injury. "He did very well in pre-season but after that, there was no progress and we didn't really realise it until we saw him play against Crewe and Southend. "Now we have got him on a quite intensive speed programme and he is working very hard at that. He knows there is a lot of hard work to do but he is progressing well."

What a fuckin awesome coup! This all but ends all the transfer rumours linking every striker in the world with us. Its gonna be good for the club and the squad with no other impending arrivals. Larsson will provide apt cover for Saha and Rooney and i wouldnt have to praying against any serious injuries everytime either of them go down under a challange.

Ole, Rossi and Smudger would welcome the move as well, as its more of a short term investment and doesnt put their future's into doubt and Rossi could learn a thing or two from Larsson. Having Larsson in the squad will give us 6 strikers to choose from come January, Saha, Rooney, Smudger, Rossi, Ole, and Larsson and with the FA cup to play for as well, it only augurs well.

Larrson is true predator and a proven goal scorer at that as well and will definitely score more than a couple for us. He's a true proffesional of the game and his presence in the locker rooms will only be beneficial to our youngsters.

United 3:0 Everton - The Goals

2006-11-30T12:58:00.000+08:00

Ronaldo (1-0)

Evra (2-0)

O'shea (3-0)

TIOT's Back Home Ya'll

2006-11-30T12:50:00.000+08:00

Ill be in Johor Bahru, Malaysia by day...

... and Singapore, by night.

Is Britney Spears Paris Hilton's Slut?

2006-11-29T01:05:00.000+08:00

Coz i sure as hell am beginning to think so. Here's why:

First came K Fed's revelations that Britney was bisexual curious and practically begged him for a threesome. Im guessing Paris Hilton must have pounced right at britney as soon as she heard that. From lovers, they soon became mistress and slut/slave. Im guessing the convo went along the lines of:

Britney: Hey Paris, you really should teach me to be an attention seeking whore like urself and also like the Lohan.

Paris: Oh britney, why i thought ud never ask. 1 condition tho, you have to call me mistress and do exactly as i tell you with no questions asked. Is that understood?

Britney: Yes Mistress.

So then began the lessons, where britney first ripped off her pants and partied in jsut her stockings alongside Paris. That im guessing was lesson #1.

Lesson #2 was Britney's first intentional yet accidental upskirt peek which she gave at her mistress's instruction. You can see Paris making sure Birt spreads her legs wide enough for the cameras in the following shots. Its so shyt obvious, its not even funny.

More picts of the slut and mistress's first official night out HERE

Lesson #3 was another upskirt, the only difference being Britney left the majority of us stumped with 2 possibilities, with one being she had a really clean shaved cunt and the other being she was wearing a very light baige skin coloured pair of panties.

More picts of Britney's baige coloured panties HERE.

Lesson #4 was where it got interesting, Britney went totally bare just as the Lohan has done countless of times before and gave us an ample view of her cunt, which i must say isnt much better than the lohan's.

More picts of her bare cunt HERE

She even flashed her skanky arse as well.

As a bonus, she did give us a peek of her shaved cunt from behind and having done that she's kinda outdone her predecessors, being Paris, the Lohan and Tara Reid who've yet to mastered this particular fine art.

Amidst all that partying and upskirting, they even found the time to take Sean Preston, Britneys first born out shopping and i must say he's gotta be the worlds unluckiest kid. Imagine having to grow up with a mum like Brit and a godmother like Paris.

Paris also got Brit to meet Lohan who has recently overtaken Paris in the upskirt charts for one can only guess, more pointers and tips?

Finally to put the question beyond doubt, Paris wraps her arms around Britney while they're out and about and casually grabs Britney's left boob as if to proclaim to the world, shes my slut.

More picts of the boob grab HERE

I rest my case. Paris Hilton is Britney Spears's mistress and Britney Spears is Paris Hilton's slut.

United 1:1 Chelski - The Goal

2006-11-28T08:09:00.000+08:00

Louis Saha (1-0)

Class.

United 1:1 Chelski - In Pictures

2006-11-28T07:29:00.000+08:00

28 Picts in all. Might take a while to load. Hang in there.

United 1:1 Chelski

2006-11-28T07:25:00.000+08:00

1-1. Fair result i suppose at the end of the day. We absolutely ran them rugged in the first half, a pity we could only find the back of the net once in that spell and in the 2nd we just set back and let them take the game to us. I've got no idea why we didnt push on in the 2nd half, we could have nicked all 3 points today, i suppose Fergie was just worried about conceding a goal late on just as we did against the Arse. We really offered fuck all in the 2nd half, even our counter attacks were hardly effective. Pity about the goal we conceded, if Saha had'nt headed it i'm pretty sure VDS would have managed to get it away. Ow well.

If we're just gonna sit back and defend against a team like Chelski they're fucking gonna score. Lets stick to tradition shall we, if they score 3, we score 4 and fuckin win the game. Attacks definitely the best form of defence. I kinda see this as 2 points dropped. 4 points outta the maximum 9 against the 'big 3' at home. That is just not good enough. We've got to play all 3 of them away in the new year and we really need to take at least 6 points off them, only then will the title be ours.

Vidic seemed to have got some real rough treatment by several of the Chelski players in the first half especially. Badly fouled and elbowed by Shevchenko on a couple of occasions and then Drogba comes in an intentionally elbows him in the face and then if that was not enough Ballack comes in and just barges into him with no intention of playing the ball. Fuckin cunt of a referee was not even helping Vidic's cause. What were the chelskian cunts playing at, trying to either injure Vidic to get him subbed off or to try riling him up to retaliate and get sent off? Either way, this is exactly why i hate em cunts. Fuckin drogba deserved a fuckin red card for that elbow.

The best part of that incident was that, even with Drogba elbowing Vidic, Vidic still won the fuckin header! Lol. Class. Vidic had a pretty good game once again, not giving Schevchenko(sp) or Drogba any space in the the united penalty box. Another point to note was an incident involving Vidic where he overreacted and went down way too easily clutching his face under minimal contact from Ballack if i remember correctly. If its one thing i hate, its play acting from our own players or the opposition alike, i fuckin hate it. He's not a dirty player, Vidic, never has, never will be. I guess the cunts just got to him.

Saha's goal was class, absolute gem outta nowhere. He is duly forgiven for his penalty miss against the Celts. Rooney was subpar once again much like he was against the Celts and the Arse earlier on. Is it just me or does he not manage to psyche himself up more for the big games of late? Giggs, much like he was against the Celts was a mere spectator, didnt offer fuck all and i think it was a lazy pass that he played which eventually lead to the corner which cheslki scored from. I think he needs a rest but its not like we've got anyone better on the bench to come in for him either. How i miss Park at times like this.

Heinze's back to his best, so thats gonna make for good competition between him and Evra. You know if Giggs current form continues against Everton i might just give Evra a chance on the left wing. Neville and Rio did reasonably well shutting out the cunts. Ronaldo was class as he;s been all season long, great runs, great skills, good passes, its just the final ball or more shots on target thats lacking. Get ready for this 1 ya'll, my MOM's gonna have to be Carrick who tackled well throughout the game, tracked back, broke down Chelskis moves and made really inportant interceptions. Scholes had an average afternoon by his standards.

Its games like this where we need our experienced players like Scholesly and Giggsy to step up to the mark and orchestrate our offensive moves but nah, that hardly was the case, hence the draw.

So now we've got everton at home on wednesday and then boro away at the weekend followed by a make or break champions league game at hoe against Benfica and finally the manchester derby at the weekend. Chelski are playing bolton away on Wednesday and they aint playin at the weekend so here's hoping Bolton do em like they did the Arse at the Reebok and we beat the evertonians and boro, leaving us 9 fuckin points clear. its highly likely ya'll. I really hope Saha and Ronaldo are both fully fit for all 4 games coz we're gonna need em.

TIOT Brings You Up Britney Spears's Skirt Again

2006-11-27T12:29:00.000+08:00

Oops she did it again and this time i'm stumped. For the love of me, i just cant tell if thats a clean shaven pussy thats on show or if thats a baiged coloured pair of panties that she's got on,

Adu Trains With United

2006-11-26T08:41:00.000+08:00

Freddy Adu is aiming to use his upcoming training stint with Manchester United to secure a permanent move to Old Trafford. The American teenager is expected to arrive in Manchester this weekend to spend a fortnight training with the Premiership leaders.

He has been given permission by his MLS club DC United to link up with The Red Devils, having also attracted interest from the likes of Chelsea and Real Madrid. But the 17-year-old has suggested he would relish the chance to earn a contract with United and is champing at the bit to train with the club."

To go to one of the world's biggest clubs and get a chance to train is an honour and a privilege," Adu is quoted by the Daily Express. "Cristiano Ronaldo and Wayne Rooney are two of my favourite players and getting the chance to train with them will be unbelievable. "Hopefully this will lead to an offer in January or in the summer transfer window next year. "That would be awesome. "I hope I can show flashes of the kind of player I can become."

Lets hope he's as good as the hype suggests. In the meantime check out more picts from uniteds training session yesterday ahead of the Chelski game.

Sure looks like we're in high spirits. Check out the rest of the picts HERE.

Rooney Signs On

2006-11-26T08:35:00.000+08:00

Manchester United is delighted to announce that it has agreed terms with Wayne Rooney to extend his contract for a further two years, until at least 2012. Sir Alex Ferguson said: "Obviously I think for everyone at the club it is great news that Wayne has committed his future to Manchester United.

"It reflects our intention to build a team to stay together. Cristiano signed a new contract last year and we have exciting young talent here too. "We see Wayne and Cristiano emerging as the best players in the world, they have their finest years in front of them and We will all be lucky to witness that."

Wayne Rooney said: "I am made up after signing a new two year extension, it’s something that I have always wanted. "There is so much that I want to achieve with this club starting hopefully with the Premiership this season. It is an exciting time at the moment and I am relishing the challenge that goes with it.

"The team is developing, with a mix of experience and youth, and I am just glad that I can play my part in it."

Impeccable timing as ever. Lets hope this is gonna pump him up even more for tonight.

United vs Chelski: The Preview

2006-11-26T08:07:00.000+08:00

I've got my final paper just a couple of hours after the game and i sure as hell will be hoping to do that paper on the back of a win, leaving us 6 points clear. I hope Fergie's pre match team talk goes along the lines of Al Pacino's speech from the movie Any Given Sunday.

On the hallowed turf in Manchester,
A battle to be fought,
The topping of the table,
The prize that is hard sought,

Two teams will clash upon that day,
One blue,
The other red,
One lead by a Knight of the Realm,
The other a dick-head,

The warriors from poles apart,
The devils chaste and true,
With silky skills,
And eye-catching thrills,
To enthrall,
And to amuse,

The others a bunch of cheating twats,
A diving gang of girls,
If things don't start to go their way,
To the grass their bodies hurl,

The fetid stench of ill-gotten gains,
A taint upon their souls,
A 30 million Superstar,
Who has a problem scoring goals,

Their playing style is boring,
A yawn fest,
Every week,
Maybe the tactics of the manager,
Or it could be that they're just shit,

But the day now comes,
They face the test,
Of the Mancs,
Who are in form,
If they lose this day,
They'll never hear,
The end of it I'm sure,

A golden haired lad from Scotland,
Was the hero here last year,
When see his mullet in the starting 11,
Their bones may quake with fear,

With Rooney, Scholes and Ryan Giggs,
All playing out of their skin,
Chavski's hopes of picking up points,
are looking rather slim,

So bring on Saturday my friends,
Let me hear the roar of the crowd,
And I hope we stuff the Chelsea scum,
10 nil this time around.

I'll leave you with a post match scenes that we're sure to see at Old Trafford tonight:

C'mon you red devils! Glory Glory Man Utd

Hottest Beach Blowjob EVER

2006-11-26T07:45:00.000+08:00

Performed by not 1, but 2 bikini clad chics.

TIOT Brings You Up Britney Spears's Skirt

2006-11-24T07:41:00.000+08:00

That really didnt take long did it? Well i suppose her hanging out with Paris must have speedened it all up. Is she en route to joining Paris, Lohan, Tara and Nicole in the skank hall of fame?

Sex Ed 301

2006-11-24T07:27:00.000+08:00

Now lets hope they take a leaf outta Rihanna's book and give us weekly lessons.

An Illustrated Love Story

2006-11-24T07:23:00.000+08:00

All it took was just 4 pictures.