Rafe Benitez's Rotation Policy
How can Fernando Torres be dropped for a Premier League game and then play in a virtually meaningless Carling Cup game? When does John Arne Riise play in defence and when in midfield? What is the point of Jermaine Pennant? All is revealed in a secret equation discovered by Eurosport's inside hobo, who found a scrap of paper while rooting through the Anfield bins for cast-off Rolexes and Armani shirts. The formula is based on the Schrodinger Equation in quantum physics - read on for an explanation of what it all means. Si - (K+6) x Et(-G) = PiR²/12.45 + (Vp-J) B/A³ Si = Ability to speak Spanish K = Kiss-and-tell expose in tabloids 6 = Player over six feet in height E = Good engine t = Solid performance in training -G = Inverse of goals scored in last game Pi = Carrying excess weight R = Unprovoked rant at Premier League officials 12.45 = Saturday lunchtime kick-off Vp = Confluence of Venus and Pluto in Capricorn 5I = Karaoke/Golf club incident B = Goatee beard A = Player is Alvaro Arbeloa Nicked Off Yahoo Sport 0 Fancy Pitting Your Footballing Knowledge Against Mine? |
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