Many Are Called. Few Succeed. Manchester United: Beyond the Promised Land

23 Differences Between Women And A Football Pitch

1. There is a vast difference in grounds with regards to length and width, thus varying the quality of the play.

2. Pitches vary from the well-grassed to the completely bald.

3. Remember it is possible to score at both ends.

4. Tackling from behind is not always an offence - check with ground owner.

5. Be careful, as after a few pints a ground appears to be of Premiership standard but in reality would not even be eligible as a council dumping ground.

6. Only some grounds offer five-a-side facilities.

7. Don't ever make public your desires to play at Wembley, also never mention pitches previously visited.

8. Extra time is dependent on subsequent pitch bookings.

9. If the ground does not seem to have under-soil heating suggest calling the game off, possibly even contact coroner.
10. When building a team it is always nice to finish with Seaman at the back.

11. Wet pitches allow for long sliding tackles.

12. Always ask before leaving the pitch and entering the tunnel. Conversely, DO NOT expect to be allowed to come straight from the tunnel to the goal mouth and score. That can leave an awful taste in the mouth of the pitch owner and may prevent further use of the ground.

13. Personal morals may be compromised by local derbies.

14. It is illegal to play on small, unturfed pitches.

15. From time-to-time the goal may be obstructed by a highly absorbent goalie.

16. Russian grounds are frequently more grassy.

17. French grounds are frequently very nice to look at, however there can sometimes be an awful smell from the terraces which don't get hosed down as often as they should.

18. Very few grounds are found with executive boxes.

19. Be wary of grounds with room for coaches.

20. Always be on the look out for grounds that host ladies football two evenings a week.

21. Pitches with a waterlogged end, can be out of bounds for up to 5 days a month, although this can be longer if you piss the owner off by continually asking to play up the good end instead.

22. Players will have to agree personal terms with the club, before being allowed to play on the turf.

23. Always look for a ground that has never been played on before (or at least hasn't had many visits). That said, well used grounds may have better facilities and will really know how to get the best out of a player.

Tackled By The Red Devil at 6:32 PM,
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Tara Reid Gets Owned

Tara Reid goes from D-list to Unlisted as she is caught on video being denied at the door to Hyde. Meanwhile, former BFF Paris Hilton walks right past Tara right into the club. Classic. Her popularity seems to be sagging to a all time low just like her tits.

This has got to be a world's first. After 139 boob jobs, theyre sagging yet again! Lol, i bet her plastic surgeons have been having bets on who can give her the worst boob job. Honestly, have you ever heard of fake boobs that sag? Tara's prolly the only ever chick who got uglier coz of implants.

Tackled By The Red Devil at 11:52 AM,
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T.I.O.T Exclusive: WWE Diva's

Lets start with a glimpse of Stephanie Mchmahons bare ass. Its good to see that Vince is still whoring his daughter out to keep the WWE viewers tuned in. Its been like a year and a half since i last caught Raw or even Smackdown.

Yeah, i know. You're prolly goin like glimpses of a bare arses dont cut it no more yeh? How bout the whore herself venting her frustrations out on Trish's arse?

Hmm now that we've the B grade diva's out, its time to bring out the big guns, dont you think and they dont get any bigger than the queen diva herself, Stacy Keibler. There's a reason why she's the queen diva and its all in the vid below.

First up, we've got a vid of Keibler orientating and showing the new diva recruits how its done.

Check this vid out where Matt Hardy gives Stacy Keibler exactly what she deserves.

And now i give you all the WWE diva booty you could ever hope for.

Humps - video powered by Metacafe

Let me just throw in a few stunners for good measure to cap off this post.

3:16

Tackled By The Red Devil at 10:13 AM,
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Keeley Hazell in United's 06/07 Strip

I'd hit it.

Tackled By The Red Devil at 9:52 AM,
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T.I.O.T Brings You Up Lisa Simpson's Skirt

Garters? Stockings? WTF? The look on Homer's face says it all really.

Tackled By The Red Devil at 9:20 AM,
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The Larger Breasts Trick

A husband, tired of his wife asking him how she looks, buys her a full length mirror. This does little to help, as now she just stands in front of the mirror, looking at herself, asking him how she looks. One day, fresh out of the shower, she is yet again in front of the mirror, now complaining that her breasts are too small.

The husband comes up with a suggestion. "If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper, and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds."

Willing to try anything, the wife fetches a piece of toilet paper, and stands in front of the mirror, rubbing it between her breasts. "How long will this take?" she asks.

"They'll grow larger over a period of years," he replies.

The wife stops. "Why do you think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts grow over the years?"

The husband shrugs. "Why not, it worked for your ass, didn't it?"

Tackled By The Red Devil at 8:54 AM,
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Fancy A Roo-per Burger, Anyone?

Tackled By The Red Devil at 10:26 PM,
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Craziest Celebration Ever

I'm in stitches as i blog right now. Lol. Thats the craziest celebration ive ever seen, the only surprise being the vid didnt come from em crazy japs. Its a pity we dont see crazy goal celebrations in the premier league.

Tackled By The Red Devil at 7:24 PM,
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