Many Are Called. Few Succeed. Manchester United: Beyond the Promised Land

Food for thought...

1. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE

2. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool? (My sentiments exactly)

3. OK.... so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags" and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs," what does that make the Tennessee Titans?

4. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that mean that one enjoys it?

5. There are three religious truths:
a. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
b. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith.
c. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at Hooters.

6. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

7. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

8. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

9. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?

10. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racecar is not called a racist?

11. Since the number 99 is pronounced ninety nine why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?

12. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

13. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

14. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

15. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

16. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me ....they're cramming for their final exam.

17. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? toothpicks?

18. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?

19 If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

20. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

Tackled By The Red Devil at 2:44 PM,
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The World Beard and Moustache Championships - Berlin 2005

Germany won gold in 14 of the 17 categories at the World Beard and Moustache Championships held in Berlin, Germany, on October 1, 2005. There were 243 competitors from 20 different countries, including Australia, India, Albania, Scotland, Tunisia, Poland, and France, all making their first appearances in the history of the WBMC.

Hmm. My first thoughts when i stumbled upon this website were, "finally an event tailor made for us, sikhs. Its about time." Lets send some sardars over to Brighton, England for the 2007 WBMC.

Tackled By The Red Devil at 2:09 PM,
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A girl and a guy were speeding over 100 mph on the road on a motorcycle...

Girl: Slow down, I'm scared.
Guy: No, this is fun.
Girl: No it's not. Please it's too scary!
Guy: Then tell me you love me.
Girl: Fine I love you. Slow down!
Guy: Now give me a BIG hug.
Girl: hugs him:
Guy: Can you take my helmet off and put it on yourself? It's bugging me.

(in the paper the next day)

A motorcycle had crashed into a building because of brake failure. Two people were on it, but only 1 had survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized that his brakes broke, but he didn't want to let the girl know. Instead, he had her say she loved him and felt her hug one last time, then he had her wear his helmet so that she would live even though it meant that he would die.

If u love any one this much, let them know before its too late.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Im sure we've all gotten forwarded emails 1 time too many and its very seldom that you actually sit thru and read the entire email. In this instance, however when i read and digested it all, it sure did strike me, strike me hard, i should add.

I love you Nim.

Tackled By The Red Devil at 6:39 PM,
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Mourinho on Wenger:

"I think he is one of these people who is a voyeur. He likes to watch other people." "There are some guys who, when they are at home, have a big telescope to see what happens in other families. He speaks, speaks, speaks about Chelsea."

Perhaps Mourinho was right about Wenger afterall?

Tackled By The Red Devil at 4:30 PM,
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Women Spend Two Years Of Their Lives Getting Ready

(Heh. If we ever needed proof...)

Women spend an incredible two years of their lives getting ready to go out.

Picking the right outfit takes the most time — an average of 26 minutes a day, says a survey by lastminute.com

Hair styling takes another 24 minutes. Washing and applying make-up brings the total to nearly an hour. And that is just on workdays — although it does include five minutes for breakfast.

Full Article HERE

Tackled By The Red Devil at 3:51 PM,
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Random GIF of the Day

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Hmm. I bet he performs this dance only when Arsene Wanker's watchin.

Tackled By The Red Devil at 1:04 PM,
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Nurse Aguilera anyone?

Heh. I'd hit it.

Tackled By The Red Devil at 11:28 PM,
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Oral Sex, Doggy Style
Not for the faint hearted. Hit play at your own risk.

Upload Video at JussPress.com

Well, well, well it sure looks like em pooches are looking to rewrite the karmasutra.

Tackled By The Red Devil at 10:08 PM,
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Cheerleaders arrested after toilet sex

Two cheerleaders have been arrested in the US - for provoking a nightclub brawl by having sex in a toilet. Carolina Panthers cheerleaders Renee Thomas, 20, and Angela Keathley, 26, allegedly had sex together in a cubicle in a Florida nightclub.

It was "clearly visible" to some of the women in line that Thomas and Keathley were "engaged in a sexual act" in a cubicle.

"They started to make a commotion," McElroy said. "They were saying, "Hey, that's not appropriate here. We need to use the bathroom. Come on out."' Thomas and Keathley finally emerged several minutes later and started arguing with the other women, McElroy said.

That's when Thomas punched Melissa Holden, 26, of Lutz in the left eye, according to police.

Daym. Some women are just so unappreciative. If only they'd choosen the Gents.

Tampa police spokeswoman Laura McElroy said: "Alcohol, sex and cheerleaders are apparently the ingredients for a hot story, because I am getting flooded with calls."

"Alcohol, sex and cheerleaders are apparently the ingredients for a hot story"
You Think?

Full Story HERE

Tackled By The Red Devil at 8:59 PM,
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Yoga

(An Anglo-Indian Affair)

How it varies from continent to continent. Lol

Tackled By The Red Devil at 7:29 PM,
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Sir Alex - Back to his best
"Ahh...Thats all Bollocks That"

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Whoever questioned his lack of passion? lol.
"I Have to ask you to watch your language tho. Children watching."
Lol. Another Fergie CLASSIC!

Tackled By The Red Devil at 12:40 AM,
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Random Image of the Day

Pretty Much Self Explanatory Aiye?

Tackled By The Red Devil at 11:41 PM,
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American Pie 4 - Band Camp

Are you a charmer or charmless? Find out by playing the American Pie Band Camp Cheerleader Charmer Game.

No Prizes for guessing how i did. Heh.

Here's a taster. Charm her right and she'd do the full monty for ye.

Heh. Enjoy.

Tackled By The Red Devil at 5:10 PM,
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Rock, Paper, Saddam

Its a dangerous game, i tell thee. Check it out HERE

Tackled By The Red Devil at 4:14 PM,
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Passion, Pride, Desire

(United 1 - 0 Chelsea)

One United

After last nights performance, ive gotta say Im really proud of the team! They were all passion, pride and desire, right from kickoff! Everything I was complaining about and they all showed it in abundance today! The lads were all fantastic, every single one of them ran their socks off! Thats something i havent seen in quite a while now. We sure did celebrate Sir Alex's 19th anniversary of being at the helm of man utd.

Fergie was spot on with his formation this time round as we caught chelsea off guard reverting back to our favoured 4-4-2 with Fletcher and Ronaldo on the wings. Sith and Scholesy held their own in midfield as they pressed and challenged Essien and Lampard for every ball. Lampard clearly couldnt get his game going.

Van Der Sar was shear class again in goal with Rio and Silvestre marshalling our defense as well as they have done all season long to shut Chelsea out. Rooney and Ruud both had chances to finish chelsea off late n the 2nd half. Its a pity they didnt capitalize on them. All in all, it was a massive performance from our under fire squad.

Perhaps Keano's gotta slag them off on a more frequent basis if it'll lead to such performances week in week out.

We're now 3rd in the table, 10 points behind Chelsea, with a game in hand. I sure hope we build on this victory and make further strives as we try to cut down chelsea's lead. With Neville and Keano due back in the coming weeks, its looking rather chirpy right now. Next Stop: Charlton

I however still feel that there are limitations in our squad.

O'Shea's energy was first rate today. It often is. He has the touch and vision of a donkey though. He's a player we should offload when the transfer window opens in january.

Darren Fletcher. He worked fantastically hard today but he still gives us far too little that can be relied upon going forward. Good goal he scored today tho. He still hasnt done much else to deserve a place in Uniteds starting 11. A squad player at the most.

I felt it was Smiths day today though. Colossal on the pitch and mighty impressive with his interview and attitude off it. The boy's gonna be pretty special folks. Get Keano in there alongside him guiding him and passing the mantle over and boy will he be destructive.

Smithy:
UNDER a spreading chestnut tree,
The Manchester Smithy stands,
Alan Smith, a mighty man is he,
United midfield in his hands,

His brow is wet with honest sweat,
He'll play wherever he can.
And looks the whole world in the face,
For he owes not any man.

Week in, week out, from morn til night,
You'll hear his lungs a-blow,
As a Roman warrior beating his chest,
When his troops are low.

What's the score Mourinho?

How Chelski's 40 match unbeaten run came to a crashing halt

Spot the ball anyone?

Tackled By The Red Devil at 10:52 AM,
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Get Carter

(Wales 3 - 41 All Blacks)

Not a great first half, but NZ in the second half. My oh my! Ive never seen such flowing attacking rugby in a while! First a whitewash against the British and Irish Lions earlier in the year, followed by the Tri-nations triumph and now this mauling. The next world champions in my opinion are very much on course in securing the historic grand slam. All that stands in the way of the all blacks are ireland, scotland and england.

Special mention goes out to Dan 'the man' Carter who definitely is the stand out player in world rugby this year. He was absolutely outstanding in tormention the welsh throughout the game scoring 2 late tries to with 5 conversions and 2 penalties. Especially more so considering it was his first game coming back from a broken leg sustained a couple of months ago.

Tackled By The Red Devil at 6:44 PM,
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The Pervert Test

1. What's in front of a woman and back of a cow?

2. What's starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?

3. What's about 6 inches long, has a vein running down it, and women love to get their hands on?
4. What goes in hard and solid then comes out soft and sticky?

5. What is long, hard and round and sticks so far out a man's pajamas that you can hang a hat on it?

6. What does a man do standing up, a woman do sitting down, and a dog does on three legs?

7. What is it that a woman has two and a cow has four?

8. What assists an erection, often has big balls hanging from it, and is also called a big swinger?

9. What do you stick poles inside of, tie down to get it up. and also gets wet before you do?

10. When I go in I cause pain. I cause you to spit and ask you not to swallow. I can fill your hole.

11. What do you stick your finger in and fiddle with when you're bored? The best man always has me first.

12. All day long, it's in and out. I discharge loads from my shaft. Both men and women go down on me.

13. What comes in many sizes, drips when it is not well, and makes you feel good when you blow it?

14. When I miss, I hit your bush. It's my job to stuff your box. When I come, it's news.

15. I offer Protection. I get the finger ten times. You use your fingers to get me off.

16. What has a stiff shaft, has a penetrating tip, and comes with a quiver?

17. I make some guys shoot in the air. I usually have a little pecker. I'm better in your hand than in your bush.

18. What's brown and sticky?

Post your answers in the comments section! I'd release the answers which i got fresh from the local nuns in a couple of days! Heh.

Tackled By The Red Devil at 5:46 PM,
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Random Image of the Day

Heh. Wad'cha think? Definitely a brain cell crackin questrion aiye?

Tackled By The Red Devil at 5:42 PM,
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Jessica Alba - For Real This Time

Even though her publicists deny it (which usually means it's true), Jessica Alba may have a bit of a thing for the adult entertainment. Full Story with some recent pics HERE

Tackled By The Red Devil at 5:33 PM,
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