Many Are Called. Few Succeed. Manchester United: Beyond the Promised Land

Meulensteen IN Queiroz OUT

To: Sir Alex Ferguson, Manchester United Football Club

We, the undersigned, implore you Sir Alex to replace Carlos '4-5-1' Queiroz with René 'total football' Meulensteen. 'Tis like the choice between a cruel barren Winter and a joyous Summer's day. Meulensteen's sweet remedy to Queiroz's fatal malady if you will.

Do not get us wrong Sir Alex. We have nothing against Carlos as a person per sé - he seems like a nice enough chap and even reminds me of my Uncle Amjad. Unfortunately, Carlos seems to have done for Manchester United's famous free-flowing attack-minded football what my Uncle Amjad has done for many a goat and lamb down his Cheetham Hill halal butchers.

Since taking over from Ricky Sbragia as Reserve Team Manager at United, René Meulensteen has been nothing short of a revelation. A shining beacon in sea of banality at the club. His commitment to developing football teams capable of producing displays of life-affirming passion, guile and attacking verve seems to be matched only by his dedication towards nurturing the very best out of each individual player. And to allow that player to play with freedom and joy. To express themselves without fear or reprimand.

Carlos Queiroz, on the other hand, seems hell-bent on placing shackles on the ankles of our young footballers with formations and tactics that are alien to the philosophy of Manchester United Football Club, and alien to the men and women of Manchester United. It is football without joy - ineffectual, loveless and stunted.

Eric Cantona - your ever greatest signing, and a player who stood for everything that we most truly believe in and hope for and dream of as Manchester United fans - is currently preaching 'Joga Bonito' to the world. Do not let Senor Queiroz rob us of this football utopia and leave us with the barren desperation of 'Joga Feio'.

René Meulensteen offers redemption and hope - the kind of football where the journey towards victory is just a sweet as the destination. Carlos Queiroz offers results-orientated mechanics - and even then, the result is soul-destroying mediocrity.

Save your legacy Sir Alex, save our legendary style of play, and for the love of everything good and pure, save us from bad football.

Sincerely,

The Red Devil,
thisisoldtrafford.blogspot.com

Sign the petition HERE.

Tackled By The Red Devil at 7:03 PM,
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United set to seal deal for boy from Brazil

MANCHESTER UNITED are close to agreeing a £6 million deal with Cruzeiro for Kerlon Moura Souza, the highly rated Brazilian midfield player who has been dubbed “the next Ronaldinho”. A United delegation flew to South America this week to meet officials from the club and are hopeful of concluding the transfer in the next few days.

United have also inquired about signing Edu Dracena, the 24-year-old Cruzeiro captain and central defender, who missed out only narrowly on a place in Brazil’s squad for the World Cup finals in Germany.

“We are always ready to listen to offers for Kerlon,” Zezé Perrella, the Cruzeiro vice-president, said. “We have had a lot of interest in him and we have been in close contact with an English team, but right now we are not there on the money.”

Kerlon, as he is more commonly known, is understood to have caught the eye of Sir Alex Ferguson, the United manager, while playing for Brazil in the South American Under-17 Championship in Venezuela last year.

The 18-year-old was named player of the tournament after finishing as its top scorer with eight goals, but it was an outrageous piece of skill — which was quickly nicknamed “the seal dribble” — that drew most attention and sparked a media frenzy.

Kerlon’s party piece involves him flicking the ball in the air and running with it as though it is attached to his forehead.“It’s just a skill I have, though it’s not meant to be a mark of disrespect to my opponents,” Kerlon said last year. “Opponents say they will snap me, but this doesn’t scare me, it just motivates me even more.”

Ferguson seems convinced about Kerlon’s talent, although given that he is ineligible for a work permit, the United manager may have no alternative but to loan the player out at first, with Celta Vigo, the Spanish club, believed to be one of several interested parties.

Kerlon, who was born in Ipatinga, can play as an attacking midfield player or a deep-lying forward. He has already drawn comparisons with Ronaldinho, the Barcelona and Brazil playmaker, and is a dead-ball expert who won the Campeonato Mineiro, Brazil’s State Championship, with Cruzeiro this season.

So thats 3 brazilians in the space of a month! First the twins and now him! Fuck yeah! Here's hoping none of em are related to kleberson! Cant wait for him bring old trafford to live with the 'seal' dribble!

Tackled By The Red Devil at 6:00 PM,
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Especially For The Gooner's

Heh. Was never ever gonna happen . Suck shit ye goons!

Tackled By The Red Devil at 5:48 PM,
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This.Is.Old.Trafford's Valued at $1634

Combined Value Score: 33
Top Level Domain Score: 1
Unwanted Characters Score: 10
Dictionary Word Score: 10
Length Score: 2
Archive.org Score: 0
Google Search Results: 16
Yahoo Search Results: 10
MSN Search Results: 8
Search Engine Score: 10

Estimated Base Value: $99.00
Estimated Actual Value: $1,634.00

I'm not entirely sure how accurate this tool is but wicked news nonetheless! Get your domain valued HERE.

Tackled By The Red Devil at 5:22 PM,
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Rocky VI - The Trailer

Haha. If only. That fuckin cracked me up!! Can you dig it suckaaaa? Nah, here's the actual trailer:

Silly quote, if u ask me.

Tackled By The Red Devil at 7:10 PM,
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Man Utd To Sign Malaysian Youngsters?

FOUR of Malaysia’s Under-20 players have caught the eye of Manchester United youth manager Brian McClair, and if the latter follows up on his praises, the four will receive trials with the English giants.

The Malaysians surprised United’s Academy team on Wednesday, handing them a 4-1 thrashing at the club’s Carrington training facility, in a match that had McClair heaping praises on K. Rajagopal’s charges.

A perfect record of three wins out of three, with a total of nine goals scored and just one conceded means confidence is oozing in Rajagopal’s team. The squad ended a 20-day training cum playing stint in Manchester with a perfect record of three wins.

The stint is part of the squad’s preparations for the Asian Youth Championship in India in October. According to FAM secretary Datuk Seri Dr Ibrahim Saad, McClair stated that he was particularly impressed with twins Aidil Zafuan and Zaquan Adha Abdul Razak, Khairil Muhymeen Zambri and Amar Rohaida and he even said he would consider giving the four a trial.

In fact, Khairil was voted Man-of-the-Match by the coaches in the team’s 3-0 victory over Salford Academy last Wednesday. The squad’s other match, against the Stoke City Academy last Saturday, ended 2-0 in Malaysia’s favour.

Ibrahim also said the fact that United’s youth squad featured five of their first team players, served to add to the positive impact at the conclusion of the squad’s tour.

Stoke City, whose academy side were beaten 2-0 by the under-20 team on Saturday, had also expressed their interest in Aidil and Zaquan.

"I think it should be made clear that the boys weren’t up against just any squad - Manchester United fielded virtually their strongest youth squad, and they were utterly surprised by our boys," said Ibrahim.

The Manchester United squad featured first team players Marcos Neumyr, Sam Hewison, Kieran Lee, Frasier Campbell and James Chester. In fact, Neumayr and Campbell played for their first team side in the testimonial match for former club captain Roy Keane at Old Trafford on Tuesday.

"McClair wasn’t just impressed, he told us he was embarrassed by the result as well as they’d expected to steamroll us. He was particularly impressed with our speed, technical ability and fitness," added Ibrahim.

Rajagopal, on the other hand, chose to play down the results, sticking to his aim, which is the AFC Asian Youth Championships. "The purpose is still to get the boys as much exposure as possible and build their confidence against bigger, more physical players. Let’s not get too excited and give the boys unnecessary pressure," said Rajagopal.

"Give them room, let’s have some patience and you’ll see the real results in three or four years.
"Right now, the results are secondary. As I’ve always said the aim is the Asian Youth Championships, and that is still our first objective."

The squad heads for Slovakia for a three-match series tomorrow, where they will face two club sides, before taking on the Slovakian under-20 side on May 18.

Well i suppose this calls for the 'Malaysia Boleh' spirit! Wicked news. Sure hope it all works out well for the squad! This also definitely spells good news for the future of Malaysian football! Lets hope the boys keep their heads on the ground and not let this slip away and pull a 'Titus James Palani.' Some malaysian kid who made it into the Le Harve football academy in france and couldnt live up to all that hype and well he's somehow dissappeared into thin air.

Oh and i came across the FA of Malaysia's website in my search. Looks pretty neat! For my fellow malaysians, check it out HERE.

Tackled By The Red Devil at 6:11 PM,
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Alba Vs Longoria

Hmm. I cant seem to pick between the 2 of em so i guess ill just do the next best thing, ill have em both!

Tackled By The Red Devil at 8:32 PM,
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Your Sex IQ

I don't usually take the time to fill out these stupid online tests/surveys, but this one is freakishly accurate! It only further justified what i had already known! A sex IQ of 142 baby! Find out your very own Sex IQ HERE!

Tackled By The Red Devil at 7:23 PM,
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Opening A Beer Bottle With A Lighter

Neat trick! Check out step by step instructions HERE!

Tackled By The Red Devil at 2:18 PM,
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LED Sex

Now why didnt i think of that during my physics labs back in school?

Tackled By The Red Devil at 2:10 PM,
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Ashlee Simpson Pulling a 'Paris'?

Well, close enough.

Tackled By The Red Devil at 6:59 PM,
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Happy Mothers Day

Moms are different, so different gifts for Mom would get clearly engender different reactions depending on the type of Mom you have. Here's my list of the top 12 wacky products that Mom may not be too pleased to get (sorted by the type of Mom you may have - or luckily don't have). If you value your happiness, think long and hard before you go about getting any of these items for your Mom. Trust me, I know from experience!

12. For the Mom Who is Really Superstitious:

Graveyard Dust

Give her a bag od Graveyard dust and tell her that you got it at the witchcraft store. Refuse to tell her what it does and just "sprinkle [it] about while saying "Peace be still in the silence of naught. Cease all action, deed, and thought. Gathered to dust from dead man's tombs, lay the hex of barren wombs. I conjure the ghost to rid our enemy from pillar to post." See it here.

11. For the Mom Who Freaks Out Every Time She Sees Something Crawly:

Remote Controlled Tarantula

"Scare [her] with a creepy, crawly, realistic, radio controlled walking tarantula! Send shivers down the spines of your [Mom] when they see this giant, hairy tarantula crawling toward them! Remote-control spider is so real -- each of his 8 legs moves independently!" See it here.

**9. For the Mom Who You Are Still Angry With For F*ing Up Your Life:**

Totally Dead Bouquet of Flowers

"Here's your chance to get even by sending dead flowers. We will ship them anywhere in the US. Flowers will vary, some will be roses, we will also include weeds! We can even add in cobwebs if you want. All orders are custom wrapped...As we individually design each bouquet please allow one week from the time you order as we custom dry our own material using a preserving process that creates a better dead flower.." See it here.

8. For the Mom Who Is Always Kissing Your Sibling's Ass:

Asskisser Breath Spray

"Just one spray and she'll be brown-nosing with the best of them! She'll find yourself saying things like ill get right on that, or Good point! or I wish Id thought of that to just about anybody.See it here.

1. For the Mom Who is Totally Full of :

Beautifully Wrapped Gift Box Filled with Real Poop

The Original Fecalgram is a 100% natural, freshly squeezed, human made turd that is sealed in a high quality box which we then decorate to make it look like an expensive gift. We then ship it, along with any message you provide, to anyone in America completely anonymously."See it here.

Check out the rest HERE.

Tackled By The Red Devil at 6:41 PM,
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Yoga Was Never This Sexy

Yoga was always sexy, but never never never this sexy!

Tackled By The Red Devil at 6:32 PM,
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The World Map

Is this a good representation of the problem in the Middle East or what? All we gotta do is wipe the problem clean and voila!

Tackled By The Red Devil at 6:14 PM,
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How's That For Mini?

We could use a few more skirts of these lengths!

Tackled By The Red Devil at 6:00 PM,
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MILF Alert!

Oh hell yeah! I'd hit it! Gotta love em milf's.

Tackled By The Red Devil at 2:42 PM,
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Stevie G

That fucker is absolutely blessed. Luckiest footballer I've ever seen. He's also, without a doubt in my mind, the best midfielder on the planet. I love and despise the guy in equal measure, love him for his sheer will to win, his carrying of a pathetic team to levels way above their station and his brilliance, despise him because he's scouse and I'm jealous.

What a fucking player. What a fucking awesome goal. Its been far too long since a United player scored a goal of such quality! Sigh, how i miss the king? Gerrad's performance last night sure reminded me of Cantona. On that note, what a fuckin waste of talent playing for liver-fuckin-pool!

Tackled By The Red Devil at 2:26 PM,
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