Many Are Called. Few Succeed. Manchester United: Beyond the Promised Land

Ashley Cole's Secret

For those who dont get the phone up the arse references in the song, its been rumoured that Ashley, Jenas and Sol Campbell used to have parties where they allegedly stuck mobile phones up each others shiteholes and then rang each other with the phones set on vibrate.

Tackled By The Red Devil at 12:57 PM,
7 Fancy Pitting Your Footballing Knowledge Against Mine?

The Best Way to Hit Out At A Linesman

After a dodgy offside decision which didnt go in your favour.

... jab him in the crotch and walk away.

Thats what Joel Griffiths who plays for Newcastle Jets in Australia's A League did anyway and the best part is he got away with a yellow card, even after after the referee conferred with the assaulted linesman. Having said that it obviously didnt warrant a red card, cause he did afterall get to the ball first. Lol.

Tackled By The Red Devil at 12:29 PM,
0 Fancy Pitting Your Footballing Knowledge Against Mine?

Rafe Benitez's Rotation Policy

How can Fernando Torres be dropped for a Premier League game and then play in a virtually meaningless Carling Cup game?

When does John Arne Riise play in defence and when in midfield?

What is the point of Jermaine Pennant?

All is revealed in a secret equation discovered by Eurosport's inside hobo, who found a scrap of paper while rooting through the Anfield bins for cast-off Rolexes and Armani shirts.

The formula is based on the Schrodinger Equation in quantum physics - read on for an explanation of what it all means.

Si - (K+6) x Et(-G) = PiR²/12.45 + (Vp-J) B/A³

Si = Ability to speak Spanish

K = Kiss-and-tell expose in tabloids

6 = Player over six feet in height

E = Good engine

t = Solid performance in training

-G = Inverse of goals scored in last game

Pi = Carrying excess weight

R = Unprovoked rant at Premier League officials

12.45 = Saturday lunchtime kick-off

Vp = Confluence of Venus and Pluto in Capricorn

5I = Karaoke/Golf club incident

B = Goatee beard

A = Player is Alvaro Arbeloa

Nicked Off Yahoo Sport

Tackled By The Red Devil at 12:21 PM,
0 Fancy Pitting Your Footballing Knowledge Against Mine?

The United-Liverpool Rivalry Explained

I've had a couple of mates, both united fans and non united fans alike asking me why i loathe scousers as much as i do, so here's a list i've compiled which really should explain exactly why i bash scousers as much as i do on this site. For the United faithful who do not share my hatred for the scouse bastards, perhaps u'll change ur minds after reading this post.

Remember ALL of Anfield singing Munich songs.
Remember the fucking Kop and their aeroplane gestures.
Remember the Munich 58 banner on the Kop
Remember Maine Road 85 and what was at stake.
Remember that we stopped them doing the "Impossible" Treble
Remember ALL those flags mocking Munich at Heysel in 85 .
Remember 39 dead Italians and how they tried to blame everyone but their fuckin selfs

Remember the bastards throwing CS Gas at our players at Anfield.
Remember that utter bitter cunt Kenny Dalglish
Remember Anfield 1992 and how you felt after Rush scored
Remember the 3-3 draw in 1994 and how it felt like a defeat
Remember the cunt spitting on Eric the King as he went to lift The FA Cup
Remember the cunt, Robbie Fowler and his four finger salute every time he scored against us
Remember that giant FC Bayern München flag at Anfield in 1999
Remember Paul Ince (and all of Anfield) thinking he had denied us the Title
Remember losing Five on the trot against them from 2000-2002, both home and away.
Remember The BBC hailing their plastic treble as some sort of achievement
Remember them breaking the silence in honour of Georgie Best
Remember scousers complaining that Sir Matt Busby only got knighted because he survived the disaster
Remember Alan Smiths ambulance getting blocked by scousers.
Remember how you felt on 25 May 2005

Just putting that post together's made my blood boil. What i sure could use right now is some scouse bashing in the form of anti scouse picts.

Thats made me feel so much better.

Tackled By The Red Devil at 11:17 AM,
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Ever Wondered Why A Clean Shaven Pussy's Called a Brazilian?

Here's not one, but two reasons why. For those who missed out on Dida's dive during Milan's loss to Celtic, now better known as the worst bit of play acting and simulation thats ever graced any football pitch the world, here's a reminder. Least the cunt's got a 2 match ban for his efforts.

Doesnt it just bring back memories of another brazlian cunt, Rivaldo doing pretty much the same against the Turks in the 2002 world cup in japan, albeit with a tad more class(least he fell over instantaneously) when compared to Dida's?